Distressed

As this is a journal of sorts, get ready for a personal post.

For the last few weeks I have been really off my game. I haven't felt like doing anything. I have really let the house go, I have been super onery, I have been yelling a lot, and I haven't felt like doing any spiritual things. Last night David, Christy and I had interviews with the Bishop. David and I have been trying to get everything ready to send to the First Presidency for permission to be sealed as a family. We have really been stressing about this now that I am pregnant. We want so much for this baby to be "born in the covenant". Anyways last night in my interview the Bishop asked me if I felt worthy to attend the Temple. I answered him honestly and said "no". Then I went on to explain how I have been feeling lately and my lack of spiritual desire. I didn't attend church on Sunday because I just didn't feel like it. I have not been praying or reading my scriptures, I just haven't felt the desire or need to. David even offered to give me a blessing and I turned him down. The Bishop helped me to understand that Satan is working extra hard on me. He does not want to see our family sealed. But the Bishop also told me that as hard as Satan is working against me that there is a host of angels in Heaven working just as hard for me and supporting me and our little family. After my interview with the Bishop I felt a little better about things. I didn't leave his office with this overwhelming desire to do all things right but I left with a great desire to start to get back to that point that I need and want to be. This morning one of my neighbors texted me and invited me to get drinks and to visit. We went to Starbucks and got drinks and visited for about an hour. It was so nice to spend time with another adult, and have adult conversation. Then this afternoon another neighbor and friend from the ward stopped by with some banana bread she had baked. She stayed for over an hour visiting with me while her two kids played with Christy. We had a great visit and she helped me so much. Her husband and her are going to go thru the Temple to get their endowments and be sealed next month, she has been having some of the same struggles as I have been. It was so nice to be able to share with her what has been going on and hear what has helped her. Heavenly Father is so mindful of me and all that I go thru. I just have to remember that and remember that I can go to him at anytime. I have so much to be thankful for and I know that I will overcome this distress with Heavenly Fathers help.