Changes

So I know that I can post this and not worry about anyone reading it. No one reads the blogs anymore at this point it is just journaling. So since Christmas I have gained about 10 pounds. At first I thought it was because I was drinking so much pop and we were eating out so much with no significant exercise. But in the last week unconsciously I think I have known that it's not just pop and eating. In  the last couple days I have had some physical changes that prompted me to have David buy a pregnancy test. As soon as I got home today I took the test and just knew that it was going to be positive. It was and I freaked out. Luckily I had a few minutes to call the OB office before they closed and get scheded for an appointment. When David got home from the store and came in our room I broke down. I am honesty scared. With all my health problems and not knowing how far along I am the threat of miscarriage is high and frightening. I don't know how I am supposed to be the primary provider for the family, go to school and be pregnant and have a baby. David already has to take on so much at home and this will just add to his responsibilities. I am going to get BIG, I started out big and like I said I have gained 10 pounds. I really need to get out and walk. Well that's all for now. Dad is coming over later to help David give me a blessing.